Shortcuts Make Long Delays

As you may have noticed, many of my friends are writers. Very talented writers. The links for some of them are at the left (in the current template anyway). And they all work at their craft to make it better. Some are at the point of putting their babies in front of agents.

One friend recently entered a contest with a big prize--publication by a major publishing house. Pretty cool, huh? This friend made it through the first cut but did not make it to the last round. Bummer. And I would be bummed, too. Think about all the steps you could skip just by winning this contest.

That's the dream, isn't it. Not having to do the slog. You know the one. The seemingly endless querying of agents. Realizing after you hit the on the email to Agent A that you've left in the opening paragraph that relates to Agent Z. Getting rejection after rejection. Then a request for pages. Which turns into a rejection. Lather, rinse, repeat. Then finally getting the agent only to have to go through it all again with editors.

It's why we go to conferences and put ourselves through pitch sessions. Or join social networking groups in order to maybe possibly meet Agent J (or his cousin) or Editor M (or her mother's neighbor's best friend's daughter). Anything to get us closer to the person who will say yes without all the other nonsense. And it's why we enter contests.

But I'm beginning to suspect that writing is like other things in life. Most of us have to do the slog. Write. Rewrite. Rewrite again. Query. Submit. Query. Submit. And while you're querying and submitting, you're also writing and rewriting other things.

The only shortcut I see is to keep writing through the disappointments. Because if we let each and every setback stop the process for a few days or a month or a year (and that has happened to more than one of us), then it just becomes a longer and harder slog. With the feeling that even more is on the line. The little successes can interrupt the flow, too. Oooh, Agent S asked for a full. I'm going to send it off and celebrate by not writing anything until I hear back, because she might want some big revisions and I want to be waiting by the phone. Uh huh.

Maybe the biggest revelation in all of this is that, for me, the writing has to be an end in and of itself. Maybe that needs to be the goal. Not nabbing an agent. Not getting published. Writing. Just for the sheer joy and necessity of it. Publication can be the extra sprinkles on top. Because if I don't love the writing, why am I doing this? There are easier ways to make a buck. Other things I enjoy doing in my free time. And focusing too much on that end of things can make me forget why I started doing this in the first place. Because I love putting one word after the other and seeing what they create.

Not that I don't want the sprinkles.

And whipped cream.

And maybe a cherry.

Synchronicity Again

I've been having a rough couple of weeks. Nothing major. No health issues or big money woes. Just a sort of malaise. An "I suck at everything" feeling. I get this once in a while. Lots of negative self-talk and such.

Mentioned my mood to Jenny and Ali before the CWC meeting last week, and Jenny said she'd been in a bad mood. Sort of an "I suck at everything" mood. Now we both know we don't suck at everything, but when one of these moods sets in, it's not about what we know but what we feel.

The next day I took a few of my trusty index cards and put together a set of affirmations. Positive responses to the negative things I'd been telling myself about myself. Started reading them a couple times a day. Unfortunately, my first few times through that nasty little voice answered each one with the nasty stuff I'd been telling myself. But repetition helps silence that. After a while it does help. So does letting myself relax. Doing other things I enjoy.

So, imagine my surprise when I check out Pat's blog and see a whole post on the dangers of negative self talk and some suggestions on what to do about it. Sometimes these things are just out there in the air.

And, if you're convinced that you too suck because something didn't turn out quite the way you planned or wasn't done when you thought it should have been (my personal suckage trigger), go over to Courtney's blog and listen to J.K. Rowling extol the virtues of failure.

By the way, YOU certainly don't suck, especially not at everything. And I'm realizing that I don't either.

Clearance on Poppets

What's a Poppet?

Obviously, you don't follow Neil Gaiman's blog then. That's where I first learned about poppets and became hooked.

A poppet is a little (usually about 2 inches tall) sculpture by an amazing artist, Lisa Snellings. They are extremely cute and just a tad bit creepy. "Grotesque," says Giovanna. "In a good way." There are a couple who wander around my house. My first, Little Red, sits on my desk at work to inspire me in those moments I have to do something creative. She--I'm convinced that this one is a girl--waits patiently for me to acknowledge her. But sometimes she she draws my attention when I wasn't expecting it, trying to get me to "do the work".


The sale is this Saturday, March 28th on Lisa's eBay site Lisa's Store .


You can check out Lisa's other artwork (wish I had more disposable income, but I did just find out she does layaway) at Poppet Planet .

Clearing Out

Over the weekend, I cleared out a lot of the junk that has accumulated in The Blue Room. The Blue Room has acted as guest room over the years. It was the room where I kept the cat's dish out of reach of the goofy little dog who used live with us. Then, after my sister moved in, it became my writing room because I could no longer get to the desk in the family room downstairs (my former "office"). But most of all, it's been the junk room. The room were things are thrown when one doesn't know where to put them. Or where bags of Christmas gifts and decorations and such go to live until distributed accordingly.

There is still some clutter in there, but I can see most of the floor and get to the daybed (no desk or chair) without tripping. So that's all good.

I think I've also been doing some mental de-cluttering. Last week I quickly whipped out a new structural plan for MMG. I like it. Talked it over with a couple of the Pirates on Monday night and got thumbs up. Ready to rock and roll. Only I wasn't. I needed a couple days to let the last version settle. To live with the new plan and let go of all the stuff (a multitude of stuff, really) that is now gone from the story. It needed to go. Desperately. But that doesn't make it any easier.

Now, thinking about proceeding doesn't give me that little twinge. It's okay to start at what used to be page 110. Not everything from before that is gone, but may appear in an altered form somewhere else. Such is writing and rewriting. Things morph.

The pages are stacked next to me. The purple pen is ready. Tally-ho!

March Goals

Recap of February:

--Finish this rewrite of MMG (400/400 pages)
--Clean up enough of Vesta from NaNo to submit this month (DONE)
--Do CWC critique (1/1)
--UGWP critiques (3/3)

Not bad at all, after the change to "this" rewrite of MMG. Yes, it was a lot of work accomplished. And, yes, it was still disappointing to not be done with the damn thing. But that's the way this game goes. Without further ado (or whinging) here is the plan for March:

--Do rewrite of MMG with new-old structure
--Do CWC critiques (0/2)

I know UGWP critiques are not on the list. I hope to be able to do them, but I won't beat myself up if I don't get them done. I kind of knew the return to Sunday group could turn out to be temporary. If I can keep up great. If I can't, it's time to finally call it quits. Love the people, that doesn't make more time in my month.

What Happened?

Thank you for all the suggestions on great well fillers. I'll definitely put them to use on another day.

My well refilling weekend went a little like this:

--Appointment with wonder hairdresser and first reader, Carrie.
--Spice of Life in Manitou Springs for a breakfast bagel and a latte. Did some morning pages (not, officially, writing) while listening in on a table full of photographers who did not appear to know each other well.
--Wander through Manitou, surprised by how many shops have changed to an opening time of noon from ten a.m. Went into a bead/jewelry shop that advertised everything 50% off of their already wholesale prices. Must really be catering to tourists brand new in town. Prices were off the charts.
--Stopping in Old Colorado City to go specifically to Holly Berry Needlework shop and Mystery Sleuth. Bookstore is now a noon opener. Picked up a cute knitting book and a little knotwork kit. Yarn for pattern I particularly like in the book was $9.00 a skein. The pattern took 15 skeins. Will shop elsewhere for yarn.
--Went home and watched a few of the shows I taped last week. Burn Notice just keeps getting better.
--Did a lot of piecing on a quilt top that was started a while back and then abandoned for whatever reason. Lots of little pieces probably had a lot to do with it. One more good session should get the top together. Then on to the funnest part--quilting.
--Started knitting a hat. Interesting pattern. I'll let you know how it turns out.

That was about it for Saturday. Watched a few more videos in the evening.

Sunday turned into a finish laundry, knit and watch Lord Of The Rings on TV. Worked fine for me.

Time to set goals for March and then get to 'em.

Well Filling

It's that time again. Time to top off the well. It's not empty--far from it, in fact, but I find it sometimes helps to take a break and pour a little more in before it goes dry. This weekend is reserved for that.

I've hit a point on the MMG revisions which is good, but potentially labor-intensive. My first inclination is to dive right in with no break between the last go-round and the next. But I have finally learned that that way lies madness. I have a good head of steam because of the new ideas. Is it enough to get me through all the messiness in the middle (or the "muddle" as Giles Carwyn calls it)? Don't think so. Hence, the fill up. [Even though that brat Jenny is done and ready to submit and my three competitive cells are all fired up about that, too.]

What is the plan? That's the beauty. There is no plan. I believe there will be music--because there's always music in some form. Perhaps quilting, which I haven't done in a coon's age (just how long is that, I wonder). Baking may be in order. Hiking always works nicely. Some fun with polymer clay? Cleaning out the blue room. Doesn't sound like well-filling, but more room and less clutter certainly help things along.

Of course, by telling myself I can't write at all this weekend, I have made myself ache to put pen to paper. But I shall be a stern well-filler.

So what tells you it's time to take a break? And what constitutes one?